Sanity check

Who in their right mind would start a restaurant? That's what your friends will tell you when you confide your goal--especially if they've worked in one. Other friends who are constantly watching the Food Channel will be envious and fantasize about the restaurant life.

You need several things to succeed. The right location, the right lease, the right timing, good food at the right price, a welcoming host in the dining room. Good health (cause health insurance is an expense you can't afford) and no life because the restaurant will consume you.

And lots of money!! Don't expect to break even for a few years...and the average life span of a restaurant is 5 years. Customers don't understand how you are not raking in the dough if chicken breast sells for $2.50 at the supermarket and you're charging 19.99 for an entree, there has to be lots of profit, right? Factor in rent, triple net, workers' comp, liability insurance, health dept permits, alcoholic beverage permits, tobacco permits, fire inspections, business license, breakage, spoilage, theft, bookeeping and accountant fees, legal fees and it's a wonder anyone makes it past their first year.

But if you're still determined to do it...here are some things I wish I had done from the beginning. Spend the money on a killer website. More and more consumers these days will find you not through advertising but through the web. Thoroughly research your locale. Even if you get a great deal on a lease, if the location's not right, you'll lose your shirt. What kind of vehicular traffic is there? What kind of foot traffic at noontime, evenings and weekends? Is there parking? If you've got a good lease and a good location, you can always change or tweak the menu, make staffing changes, etc. But if the lease is too high or the location not right, nothing else will matter and you should walk away.

Just Say Yes

I don't know if it's peculiar to our area, but a significant portion of our dinner business is driven by pharmaceutical companies. Drugs pay my bills. Pharmaceutical reps book speakers to tout the benefits of their products. The physicians show up to receive continuing education credits, hear about new research, have a great meal that's free, (although not without strings, I'm sure), and get free pens!
One physician in particular really abuses the situation. He immediately orders one of our dessert wines at $65 and drinks it with every course, including his appetizer. He shops our cigar selection and takes several for friends, asking us to put it on the bill as miscellaneous food. He requests cioppino to go and several desserts for his wife, kids, dog, etc. The reps tolerate him because he writes prescriptions galore.
As with any banquet, we ask the reps to guarantee a head count and they often have many no-shows. One doc told me if he wants to go out to dinner he can find someone to pay for it 7 days a week. I was told that the most courteous doctors are pediatricians. If they rsvp they keep their word. Someone recently corrected that and said no, the most courteous are podiatrists because they never get invited to anything.
So contrary to what Nancy Reagan may have told you, when the drug companies call, I just say yes.

Recession Proof

To survive this recession, oops I mean sluggish economy, and operating under the theory that if you throw enough shit at the wall eventually some of it will stick, we have started a nightclub. Our first group were "emo" kids. Don't know what that is? Neither did I. Stands for emotional. You know, my life sucks, yeah yeah sort of music. The kids have a distinctive look. Like they just stepped out of an anime cartoon. And you can never be too thin. One of their songs actually has the lyrics, "You're too fat to wear skinny jeans".
We tried a goth group another night with a dj who called herself liquid sex. They had great t-shirts. One said, "You're just jealous because the voices talk only to me". Another guest with multiple facial piercings had a shirt that said, "Keep staring. I might do a trick".
At 8 p.m. we're serving a tender veal chop with an aged Brunello and by 10 p.m. the speakers are blasting so loud glasses are vibrating off the shelves.